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Showing posts from August, 2012

Kanye West Thinks Kim Kardashian Is Fat

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Simon Cowell Saves The Day, And A Few Lives! | Home | Toddlers And Tiaras: How Far Is Too Far? August 31, 2012 12:00 PM by Gina Hall Kim Kardashian is embarrassed by her body because she cant fit into clothes Kanye West designed or bought from European designers. Kim Kardashian , star of Keeping up with the Kardashians has been working out in an attempt to shed weight off her bottom, according to reports. Kim was extremely embarrassed and upset when she couldnt fit into Kanye [West] designs he had picked out for her, someone who wouldnt give his or her name told Confidenti@l. She was busting out of his clothes and even had to go a couple of sizes bigger on some of the dresses, according to that nameless person. Kim Kardashian works out at Cross Fit and Barrys Boot Camp when in New York, and there are reports that shes been frequenting a gym near her home in Los Angeles. Kanye West showed his DW line of clothes at Paris Fashion Week last October. He apparently got mixed reviews. ...

Kim Kardashian Owns How Many Pairs of Those Kanye West Knit Shoes?

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(Bauer Griffin) Kim Kardashian's closet. (via Twitter) Kanye West 's sartorial influence on Kim Kardashian was obvious waaay before we saw him clean out her closet on Keeping Up With the Kardashians last weekafter all, Kardashian has been spotted wearing the rapper-designer's over-the-top Giuseppe Zanotti heels for awhile now. The $5,800 shoes hit stores earlier this summerand were, until recently, available at online retailers such as Luisa Via Roma and Parisian concept store Colette. Kim changes her style as frequently as she changes her marital status, so the fact that she's repeatedly been photographed in West's shoes is, well, something. But it all made sense yesterday, when she tweeted a picture of her closet. On here shelves were not one, but two pairs of the zany Zanottis. Underneath the image she wrote "Walk a mile in my shoes." No wonder she's been wearing them everywhere! She has two pairs! Do you think there are even more West-made ma...

Kanye West instructs Kim Kardashian to shrink her booty, world recoils in horror

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Another story about Kim Kardashian's bum, but this time it's different as shock horror it's vanishing Kim Kardashian tweeted this pic along with words 'Night swimming'. Look at the eyes, guys Twitter First Kanye made Kim down size her shoe collection, that was painful enough. But now hes making her downsize her booty. As Kanye continues to mould Kim into his perfect girlfriend, he has moved on past her wardrobe onto her bum. A source told the New York Daily News: She was busting out of his clothes and even had to go a couple of sizes bigger on some of the dresses. She was trying to squeeze into Kanyes line and European designer clothes as part of Kanye's extreme makeover. Kim WE love you just the way you are. Twitter Kim is apparently extremely embarrassed that she couldnt fit into the outfits Kanye picked for her. So she has been hitting the gym and going for midnight swims to slim down. She also posted a picture of her dinner, a rather bland portion of noo...

Kim Kardashian sparks Kanye West wedding speculation in bridal gown

Kim Kardashian has fuelled rumours that she could be about to tie the knot to boyfriend Kanye West by posting a picture of her wearing what appears to be an elegant wedding gown on Twitter, accompanying the snap with the comment: "Late night fitting #pucci'." In the image, Kimmy looks seductively over her shoulder as she shows off her shapely figure in the tight-fitting frock. Early this week, Heat magazine claimed that Kardashian was hoping to marry and start a family with Yeezy - following her failed marriage to basketball ace, Kris Humphries. A source told the publication: "Kim and Kanye are serious they want to get married as soon as possible."But Kim figures that if Kris is going to drag their divorce on for as long as possible, then she'll put her wedding plans on hold and concentrate on starting a family with Kanye first." "The truth is that Kim, 31, and Kanye, 35, have known each other for a long time and first met over ten years ago, so i...

2 Chainz And Kanye West Enjoy Cake In 'Birthday Song' Video

2 Chainz enlisted the help of Kanye West 's director Andreas Nilsson to put together his "Birthday Song" video, and even to the untrained eye it's easy to see that the Atlanta rapper and his eccentric director combined their ideas to make a complete product. During a recent visit to "RapFix Live" 2 Chainz admitted that he and Nilsson initially had very different concepts for the video , but they collaborated to make it work. The birthday celebration begins in 2 Chainz's crib, with family and a birthday cake in the shape of a butt with candles on it, which we're inclined to credit to 2 Chainz. His backyard and the block party outside are not out of the ordinary, filled with well-endowed woman (refer to the song's hook for an accurate description) who enjoy trailing Kanye West, but the creepy clown who eventually gets assaulted and the random contortionist on the sidewalk seem more like Nilsson's kind of thing. "It's very trippy,...

2 Chainz & Kanye West Snag Booty, Bad Kids & Cake For NSFW "Birthday Song" [Video]

Atlanta rapper 2 Chainz and Kanye West 's highly-anticipated "Birthday Song" music video has premiered online and showcases curvy women, bad kids and plenty of cake. In the new "not safe for work" video, Chainz and Yeezy show there are no limits to bringing their lyrics to life. 2 Chainz has released the video for "Birthday Song," his collaboration with Kanye West. Spoiler: It looks nothing like your birthday party -- though considering 2 Chainz also recently debuted a video for his song "I Luv Strippers," that's shouldn't be too surprising. The clip -- which may or may not give you nightmares; HuffPost Entertainment is not responsible for said nightmares -- features 2 Chainz and West celebrating with a bevy of scantily-clad women, 40 oz. beers and one very unlucky clown. ( Huffington Post ) Prior to its release, Chainz talked about incorporating luscious desires and birthday themes in the video. "It's very trippy," 2...

2 Chainz And Kanye West Enjoy Cake In 'Birthday Song' Video

2 Chainz enlisted the help of Kanye West 's director Andreas Nilsson to put together his "Birthday Song" video, and even to the untrained eye it's easy to see that the Atlanta rapper and his eccentric director combined their ideas to make a complete product. During a recent visit to "RapFix Live" 2 Chainz admitted that he and Nilsson initially had very different concepts for the video , but they collaborated to make it work. The birthday celebration begins in 2 Chainz's crib, with family and a birthday cake in the shape of a butt with candles on it, which we're inclined to credit to 2 Chainz. His backyard and the block party outside are not out of the ordinary, filled with well-endowed woman (refer to the song's hook for an accurate description) who enjoy trailing Kanye West, but the creepy clown who eventually gets assaulted and the random contortionist on the sidewalk seem more like Nilsson's kind of thing. "It's very trippy,...

Kanye West Encouraging Kim Kardashian To Flaunt 'Banging A** Body' In Risque Pictures

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Twitter/KimKardashian Kim Kardashian has been posting a lot of bikini photos, underwear photos and generally any pictures of her smoking hot body on Twitter recently and now we know why, according to those close to the reality TV star Kanye West wants his girlfriend to show off her stunning curves to make other men jealous. The couple have been dating since April this year and in that time Kim hasn't just undergone a style transformation, with Kanye picking out her clothes her image has got sleeker and sexier too. Insiders claim this is no accident and that the 'Church In The Wild' star is desperate for everyone to see her famous booty and banging body. [Kanye] loves it when she flashing that big a** around what ni**a wouldnt? a source told HollywoodLife. Kanye West Encouraging Kim Kardashian To Flaunt 'Banging A** Body' In Risque Pictures Kim Kardashian flaunts curves in underwear shoot, (Twitter/KimKardashian) While Kanye loves her curves, the photos are more abo...

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West spark wedding rumors again

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Kim Kardashian ignited the wedding rumor mill again by Instagramming a picture of herself in a white Emilio Pucci dress. Many speculated that Kim could be hinting at possibly marrying her boyfriend of a couple of months, Kanye West. Kanye is no stranger when it comes to expressing his feelings towards Kim ever since the two became an item. They have been on trips to Paris, Mexico and Hawaii, and they have shown their love and affection by spoiling each other with expensive gifts. Kanyes latest effort to show how much he loves Kim included an upgraded wardrobe with all the latest high end fashions. All the marriage talk comes after West put out a couple of records displaying his love for Kim including Perfect Bch, and Too Cold (TheraFlu)." According to The Examiner , West plans on releasing a new song called White Dress, which again hints at him wanting to marry Kim. While their love is going strong, plans of a wedding in the future are put on hold since Kardashians divorce to Kris...

Game Credits Kanye West For Helping Him Find "Jesus" [Video]

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News: Game Credits Kanye West For Helping Him Find "Jesus" [Video] Wednesday, Aug 29, 2012 11:27PM Written by Cyrus Langhorne West Coast rapper Game recently delved into his recently nixed F.I.V.E. (Fear Is Victory's Evolution) album title and why Kanye West is largely responsible for inspiring its current title, Jesus Piece . The Black Wall Street leader also said Cool & Dre's Dre helped inspire the title change . Originally titled F.I.V.E. (Fear Is Victory's Evolution) , he changed it to Jesus Piece after Trey Songz released his similarly-titled album Chapter V . Game, who owns several Jesus pieces, told DJ Skee how he came up with the title. "I did a song with Kanye that was called 'Jesus Piece,'" he said. "One day we was in the studio and Dre from Cool & Dre was just like, 'We should call the album 'Jesus Piece." You know how much controversy that will be?" ( Rap-Up ) A few days ago, Game said the curre...

Kanye West The Reality TV Star? Rapper Set To Star In Kourtney And Kim Take New York?

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WENN Following his minor appearance in Keeping Up With The Kardashians recently, Kanye West's career as a reality TV star were bought into question. Would the rapper become a fully fledged reality TV star? Well that looks like a possibility as In Touch have commented that Kanye will be "involved" in the new season of Kim and sister Kourtney's spin-off show, Kourtney and Kim Take Miami . Referring to the relationship troubles that Kourtney is reportedly having with partner Scott Disick and how that will effect the filming of the show, a source revealed: "Kim and Kanye West and everybody else involved in the show, Kourtney and Scott will be living in separate apartments." The news of Kanye possibly being a part of the show after Kim sparked speculation that she is preparing to marry her beau when she posted a picture of her posing with a wedding style dress. What do you think? Would you like to see Kanye on Kourtney And Kim Take Miami ? A rep for Keeping Up ...

Kanye West 'Cooling Romance with Kim Kardashian Over Full On, Controlling Personality'

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WENN We all know that Kim Kardashian likes to get her own way, but despite knowing her for 10 years it seems her controlling personality has come as a shock to boyfriend Kanye West who reportedly doesn't like how full on the reality TV star is. The couple, who started dating in April this year have virtually been inseparable since getting together and while at first Kanye enjoyed having his beau constantly at his side, friends have revealed the novelty is well and truly wearing off. "When they started dating, Kanye adored the way that Kim was assertive and ambitious, a source told OK! Magazine . But now the novelty is wearing off. She's full-on all the time, and he can't ever relax." Since they started dating, the couple have not tried to hide their love and have openly hinted that this is it, they will be together for ever. But, it is thought that the rapper is so concerned at her transformation he has cooled talk of marriage and babies as he decides if this is a...

PHOTO: Kim Kardashian Sparks Kanye West Marriage Speculation

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Splash News / Twitter / Kim Kardashian / Instagram Her mum ruled out a TV wedding for her daughter, so could Keeping Up With The Kardashians beauty Kim Kardashian be tying the knot with her rapper beau Kanye West in secret? Or not so secret any more as the reality TV star sparked speculation of a wedding when she posted this picture of her on Twitter with the caption: "Late night fitting #pucci." PHOTO: Kim Kardashian Sparks Kanye West Marriage Speculation Kim strikes a pose! (Twitter / Kim Kardashian / Instagram / Splash News) In the picture, the star can be seen posing with her back to the camera whilst looking over her left shoulder showing off the famous curves in a deep backless white dress. Wanting to show the whole effect of the dress, the reality TV beauty tied her hair in a bun. Ruling out a reality TV wedding for her daughter, Kris Jenner told E! News recently: "My advice as a manager would be get out of town as fast as you can and go to a secret location. ...

'A baby would boost our brand'

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Kim Kardashian wants to have a baby with beau Kanye West . Picture: AP Source: AP KIM Kardashian reportedly wants to have a baby with Kanye West. The 31-year-old reality star is feeling broody and hopes to start a family with her rapper boyfriend since her lengthy divorce proceedings from Kris Humphries are preventing the pair from getting married and she wants to show Kanye how "serious" she is about their relationship. A source told heat magazine: "Kim and Kanye are serious - they want to get married as soon as possible. "But Kim figures that if Kris is going to drag their divorce on for as long as possible, then she'll put her wedding plans on hold and concentrate on stating a family with Kanye first. "Kim has had her heart set on having a baby for a while now. "Watching her sister Kourtney have a girl recently has confirmed it even more, but above all she wants to show Kanye how serious she is about them spending the rest of their lives together...

Kanye West lawsuit dismissed thanks to Nietzsche

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National Post Staff | Aug 28, 2012 4:29 PM ET More from National Post Staff When Vincent Peters sued Kanye West for copyright infringement for the song Stronger , he probably didnt think Yeezy would turn to Friedrich Nietzsche for help. But thats just what the hip-hop artist did , and in doing do had the lawsuit against him dismissed. Songwriter Vincent Peters claimed that in 2006 he sent a copy of his song, called Stronger , to John Monopoly, a business associate of Kanyes, and alleges that the rapper would then have had an opportunity to copy the song for his own 2007 track of the same name. West did not argue against the songs lyrical similarities, but instead pointed out that those lyrics far outdate Peters track. Although the fact that both songs quote from a 19th century German philosopher might, at first blush, seem to be an unusual coincidence, West correctly notes that the aphorism has been repeatedly invoked in song lyrics over the past century, Judge Diane Wood said of the ...

Kanye West Contributes 'White Dress' To RZA's 'Iron Fists' Soundtrack

The wait for the RZA 's kung-fu film "The Man With the Iron Fists" is almost over, but before the movie's release on November 2, the Wu-Tang Clan producer rounded up a few of his closest friends for the movie's soundtrack , dropping October 23. Method Man, Ghostface Killah, Raekwon, Talib Kweli and the Black Keys will all appear on "The Man With the Iron Fists" soundtrack, along with Kanye West AllHipHop.com , 'Ye contributes a track called "White Dress" on the Wu-heavy LP. Yeezy's affinity for the Wu and RZA's original brand of dusty hip-hop soul is no secret. 'Ye called on the Abbott to produce and appear on his 2010 album My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy as well as contribute the beat for "New Day" to he and Jay-Z's unforgettable Watch the Throne. The "Iron Fists" soundtrack will be released on RZA's new Soul Temple Records and be distributed through Stax/RED Distribution. "We went and got ...

Kanye West On The Brain Eh Kim Kardashian? Star Likens Keeping Up With The Kardashians To Rap Music

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WENN It's clear to see that Kim Kardashian is smitten with her beau Kanye West but it might be a bit OTT, as the star has likened her family's reality TV show, Keeping Up With The Kardashians to the music Kanye makes. Speaking about her TV show in an interview with V magazine , the reality TV beauty explained the weird comparison, revealing: "I think its fascinating, because it's still entertainment, you know? Its fun to see the progression of that idea. I dont take offense to it at all. Im not nave to the fact that Im not a singer or an actress or anything like that. Ive never claimed to be anything that Im not. I think [reality] is still a new form of entertainment that was kind of an unexpected thing. "It reminds me of rap music. When rap music first came out, people were like, We dont understand this, what is this, its just a fad. But rap music is definitely here to stay, and I think reality shows have proven they are as well. But when something is newer, peo...

New Kanye West Video Features Sexy Kim Kardashian Look-alike

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Kanye stars in Fat Joe's latest video, 'Pride N Joy' with a slew of other rappers -- and a curvaceous woman that looks like Kim! Fat Joe' s latest song isn't short on star power! Kanye West , Busta Rhymes , Ashanti , DJ Khaled , Roscoe Dash , Miguel and Jadakiss all collaborated on the three-minute music video, directed by Hype Williams . The video also features a dark haired brunette beauty that closely resembles Kanye's girlfriend , Kim Kardashian . Interestingly, the song's opening lyrics, "And even if she's all about the money I don't really care / I got a lot of money it's enough of it that we can share / You're still my pride and joy," sound somewhat similar to Kanye's relationship with the reality starlet. Check out the video below and tell us your thoughts! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P9HcqmvDqdw More Kardashian News: Kim Kardashian Shows Off Her Big Booty On Vacation With Kanye West Kim Kardashian Pays Tribute To B...

Kanye West brings stylist to clean up Kim Kardashian's closet - watch

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Kim Kardashian had her fashion closet cleaned up by her new boyfriend Kanye West and his stylist Renelou Padora. During Sunday's (August 26) episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians , the trio were seen going through Kardashian's clothing, shoes and accessories. "Kanye is coming over today with his stylist. and he's giving me a full clothing makeover," Kardashian said in the video, which was then cut to a scene of her meeting West's stylist. "Babe, you gotta really clean out everything," West was also heard saying in the clip. Kardashian's old clothes and accessories will be auctioned off on eBay to benefit Life Change Community Church, reports People . Kardashian recently made a cameo in DJ Khaled's music video for 'I Wish You Would/Cold', which features West and Rick Ross. West's new song 'Perfect Bitch' is also about Kardashian. > Prince Harry offered $10m to star in porn 'The Trouble with Harry' > Ch...

New Kanye West Video Features Sexy Kim Kardashian Look-alike

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Kanye stars in Fat Joe's latest video, 'Pride N Joy' with a slew of other rappers -- and a curvaceous woman that looks like Kim! Fat Joe' s latest song isn't short on star power! Kanye West , Busta Rhymes , Ashanti , DJ Khaled , Roscoe Dash , Miguel and Jadakiss all collaborated on the three-minute music video, directed by Hype Williams . The video also features a dark haired brunette beauty that closely resembles Kanye's girlfriend , Kim Kardashian . Interestingly, the song's opening lyrics, "And even if she's all about the money I don't really care / I got a lot of money it's enough of it that we can share / You're still my pride and joy," sound somewhat similar to Kanye's relationship with the reality starlet. Check out the video below and tell us your thoughts! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P9HcqmvDqdw More Kardashian News: Kim Kardashian Shows Off Her Big Booty On Vacation With Kanye West Kim Kardashian Pays Tribute To B...

Youll Never Believe What Kanye West Said About Kim Kardashians Shoes

Stylewatch Style News Now 08 / 27 / 2012 at 12:45 PM ET Every new couple hits a rough patch sooner or later, but only Kayne West and Kim Kardashian would have their first disagreement over fashion. Sunday nights episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians gave insight into the origin of the new look Kardashian has been flaunting in recent months. And the back story is what everyones been speculating about since she started dating the rapper: West overhauled Kardashians signature bombshell look to better complement his high-fashion style. Kanye is coming over today with his stylist, Kardashian says in the clip above, and hes giving me a full clothing makeover. Before West and his stylist, Renelou Padora, begin purging Kardashians closet, she admits shes so nervous and even asks if its bad to keep things. According to the styling duo, the answer is yes. Babe you gotta really clean out everything, West says. While going through his girlfriends bags and shoes, he jokingly points out a...

Is Kanye West Controlling Kim Kardashians Wardrobe?

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Kim Kardashian, love her or hate her, has been a fashion icon for more than a couple of years now. She has a sleek and sexy style that defines her. Well it seems as if overnight Kim has changed her style to a more sophisticated look and sources are saying that it has everything to do with her boyfriend, Kanye West. In an upcoming episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians Kanye is seen rummaging through Kims closet with his stylist and throwing away anything that offends his sensibilities. Sources close to the couple have said that Kanye told Kim he was going to throw away all of her clothing but that he would replace everything with clothing he liked. Kanye supposedly said to his stylist while going through Kims things; I like that top, its like Yo, Im getting on best dressed lists now. Im stepping all into this territory. Meanwhile Kim was tearing up at the sight of all her clothes going into the donation pile and saying I am literally crying At one point Kim asks Kanye if she should...

Kanye West Orders Kim Kardashian to Have a Complete Closet Makeover [VIDEO]

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Sunday, August 26th 2012 | Leave a Comment Word to any woman looking to date Kanye West : Your wardrobe is not safe. Kanye, being the ego maniac that he is, doesnt just like to date a woman. He likes to shape her into his mold. He succeeded in turning Amber Rose into his very own, mulatto, buzzcut-sporting Barbie, but can Kanye pull off the same trick with Americas favorite sex tape vixen, Kim Kardashian ? In a clip from an upcoming episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Kanye invades Kims closet with his stylist in tow. Kim appears nervous and anxious about the whole thing. She shyly tries to salvage some of her favorite pieces, but Kanye, with a smile on his face, tells her she really needs to be prepared to throw everything out. Watch the clip of Kanye raiding Kims closet, below What Kim doesnt know is that Kanye isnt making suggestions. Those are orders. While the cameras are rolling hell put on a happy, friendly face, but once they leave, hell expect Kims closet to be put t...

Video: Watch Kanye West Clean Out Kim Kardashian's Closet!

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(Bauer Griffin and Getty images) Now that Keepin Up With the Kardashians has begun picking at straws for interesting content (I mean, last week Kris went shopping for coffins for the whole fam... really E!? Really?), we're excited to get an extra-special segment this coming weekend Kim Kardashian' s bestest-BF Kanye West treats her to a full on closet clean-outwhether she likes it or not. We'd always suspected that the well-dressed Mr. West was the force behind Kim Kardashian's sartorial makeoverover the past year, she's gone from a bare-all skin-tight deepest-darkest-LA look to a wardrobe filled with high-end Parisian designer clothes. "Kanye's definitely inspired me to be, like, more of an individual," she says of the "clothing makeover," Kanye "gifts" her in the clip below. "He's a fashion designer, and he loves clothes, so I'm excited to, like, collaborate with him to see what his take on fashion is." The res...

Video Premiere: Fat Joe Featuring Kanye West And Miguel, 'Pride And Joy'

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Fat Joe recruits a few big-name friends (including Kanye West and Miguel) for his latest clip "Pride And Joy." Some guys are generous. And other guys, like Fat Joe , literally have so much money that they can't possibly spend it all by themselves (note to self: make new friends who are rappers). In his latest clip, "Pride And Joy," Joey Crack gets a little help from his fellow monetarily gifted pal Kanye West and crooner Miguel to talk about lacing their girls up with only the finest jewels, shoes, cars -- you know, stuff that ballers rock. Hey, I'm pushin' a Corolla, I'm ballin' too... kind of. Watch Fat Joe Featuring Kanye West And Miguel, "Pride And Joy" after the jump. In the Hype Williams-directed clip, we see Joe with a bevvy of celeb friends like Busta Rhymes , DJ Khaled , Jadakiss , Ashanti , and Roscoe Dash as they help him explain his status (read: paid) to a number of impossibly beautiful women. The track describes Fat Joe...

Kanye West Gives Kim Kardashian A Style Makeover!

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E! By Radar Staff Her style has drastically changed since they started dating in April, and now Kim Kardashian fans know why: Kanye West . The hip-hop fashion designer purged his girlfriends closet, and RadarOnline.com has video evidence of when the rapper did the deed. In a clip from Sundays episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians , West looks on as his stylist tosses her favorite outfits. PHOTOS: Kim Kardashian Attends Joyce Bonelli's Mad Hatter Baby Shower Kim tells the camera: Kanye is coming over today with his stylist and hes giving me a full clothing makeover. Kanye has definitely inspired me to be a little more of an individual. I think my styles just evolving and changing.... PHOTOS: Kim Kardashian Channels Queen Of Motown, Diana Ross She also says: Hes a fashion designer and he loves clothes and Im excited to collaborate with him to see what hi! s take o n fashion is I feel its so ironic that Im the one thats always giving my friends their closet makeovers so for ...

Kim Kardashian Lets Kanye West Clean Out Her Closet (Video)

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Getty Images You may have noticed that Kim Kardashian s wardrobe normally tight, bright and more than slightly trashy has been improving of late. Like it or not, the credit seems to belong to her new boyfriend, Kanye West . Ever since the third week of dating the rapper/designer, shes been sporting more neutrals like black, white, gray, with lower heels, higher necklines and lower hemlines. The couple has even been doing that cloyingly sweet but annoying matchy-matchy lovers thing, where they show up at events wearing the same colors. PHOTOS: Inside Kardashian Inc. Kim, who has a wildly successful clothing and accessory line at Sears and whose mainstream collection is now headed to a chain of trendy shops in Great Britain, is beginning to trust Kanye's fashion sense when it comes to luxury looks. It's hard to dress like Kanye's "Perfect Bitch" and she is willing to ask for help in this mattter. After all, he is an official if not widely lauded -- luxury brand f...

Kanye West Is Better at His Job Than I Am at Mine (But Im Way Better at Being a Fake-Ass Feminist) [True Stories]

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My grandmother married a beautiful brown troll named HaLester "Les" Myers 20 years ago. The Christmas before last, Les slumped across from me in Grandma's gaudy pink throne while she finished making supper. I watched the still water flooding the gutters of Les's sleepy eyes, the way his nappy gray chin folded snuggly into the top of those musty blue overalls, and I knew that the dusty joker really believed what he said the night before about Kanye West and the importance of treating females like cats. "Look at Les over there faking sleep," My Aunt Sue said from the doorway. "He sleep? Get up, Les! Time to eat. Wake him up, Kie." Les's sweaty face didn't move. His chest didn't heave in or out. But his fingers, which doubled as raggedy overstuffed cigars, dug deeper into both arms of Grandma's favorite chair. HaLester Myers was preparing for takeoff. The night before, on Christmas Eve, I joined Les outside in his Runaway spot. No ...